Things between President Oaks and his companion definitely changed after the two of them had sex. For one, Elder Xanders was less shy about being naked. Even after his probationary period ended, the two maintained the same open-door policy that they’d had before.
It was very hard for Garrett, however, to be that open. He never felt comfortable in his body and had been raised to think any sexual urges he had were bad and sinful.
Still, he felt compelled to check out other guys and compare himself to them. And every time he got aroused. Practically everything about other boys turned him on. He was turned on by boys who were taller, more muscular, or simply had adult body hair.
Being naked and fucked in front of Bishop Angus was an experience he will never forget. The idea of having sex with another guy clouded Garrett’s mind at all times. He couldn’t stop thinking of what it was like, how wrong it was, and how good it felt. He wanted more, but was too shy to even mention it to President Oaks. In their conversations that followed, Elder Xanders did mention that he knew of other missionaries that were similarly interested in sex with men. It was unclear to Garret how this could be true and how Xanders would know.